Reputation

I know this blog has not grown much in reputation.  In fact, I would dare say that there wasn't much to begin with since I started this blog with little idea of what I was doing or how I wanted to do it.  I felt that something needed to be said, but I wasn't sure how I would say it.  After a time, the voice would find itself, or so was the idea back in March 2006.

Things went pretty well.  I made about half of the posts up to this point in that inaugural year.  Didn't get much exposure, but this was before I got into Facebook, and well before I discovered Twitter.

Then things got really crazy, and everything about my reputation changed.  In July of the same year, I started a new blog that gave me an entirely new reputation, for good and ill.  Mostly good I would like to think, but even after nearly seven years a father, I still think there is room for improvement.

Right now my reputation as a reliable blogger would not be accurate, but I want to change that around.  I've been listening to an audiobook version of The School Revolution by Ron Paul and part of the curriculum is to keep a blog.  Posts don't have to be long, 250 words is ideal.  Mostly because blogging becomes part of the curriculum in the sixth grade.  With that idea of posting 250 words a day, I figured it would be worth it try again.

One goal I have for 2014 is to attain my Amateur Radio Operators Licence.  Antennas are a part of the materials I'm studying, and I have come across the term 'resonant frequency.'  Seems that resonance isn't just for destructive purposes, though if I remembered what a tuning fork did when eight years ago my first post would not be quite as rambling.

Regardless, in order to turn this into a reputable blog, work needs to be done.  And that's what I intend to do from this day forward.

New Digs

Things have been a little crazy over the past few weeks. I broke my back and was in the hospital for four days. I was back at work the next week, but I was wearing my clamshell brace the entire time. When I went for the follow up appointment on 7 Mar 2011, the doctor told me that I probably wouldn't have to wear a brace, and he was surprised when I demonstrated that I was wearing one. He then told me that it would be in my best interest to take my brace off for a few hours at a time. He also told me 'formally' that I should not drive while wearing my brace. Combine the two pieces of advice, and I can drive again!

When I got home that evening, I took off the brace, and kept it off for about 90 hours. (three and a half days) The reason I put it back on, was because Friday morning when I got to work, it felt like there was a piece of hot glass right at the fracture point, which was the L1 vertebra. I took my brace and put it on as tight as I could manage, and I felt fine. I was a little stiff and had to make more of an effort to breathe, but I was functional yet again, with minimal pain.

All the while, things were being moved to the new apartment, but there was still a big thing missing: Beds for our daughters. We had been searching around, with the main focus being Kijiji, and just last week we found something. A set of bunk beds, two end tables, and two chests of drawers, all in a very fine wood. Not sure what kind, might be maple or birch, but there are very nice. The best part? It cost $200 for the entire set. We could not believe our good fortune!

Also the fact that we were able to move into this apartment in Beaumont, which has always been a dream of Caitlin's to have our own place in this town. The amazing thing is that it's cheaper than many places in Edmonton! There are some advantages to having a single income household. Most people would wonder how we get by on so little money, but I just grateful that things have worked out as well as they have.

There are a few trouble spots on the horizon, such as the fact that I have yet to get a response regarding my student loans repayment assistance application, but there was a massive SNAFU simply because I wrote the wrong date on the application. Instead of 1 Dec 2010, I put 30 Nov 2010. This was too early, and I was told this when the deadline had almost run out. Furthermore, there was a mark on my application for permanent disability, so it had to be reviewed in Ottawa, and I was told if there was any further documentation needed then I would be notified accordingly. The only issue with that is I thought the permanent disability application was discarded because I failed to produce a doctor's note stating my situation.

In any case, it's been nearly two months since I put in my application, and both the National Student Loans and Alberta Student Loan people are starting to breathe down my neck. The other day I got a letter printed on green paper reminding me that payment is due. Every time I get one of those notifications, I call in and they tell me not to worry, because the application is still being processed.

I wish I could just get rid of that debt, but I brought it upon myself, and I'll have to get out of it myself.

However, our new apartment has been working quite well for us. It's smaller than what we're used to, and we're still searching through stuff and sending clothes to Goodwill, but this has been a long time coming. Even when we were moving in, there were a number of things that we threw out. There was a shirt that I inherited from Chris that was too big and had more than a few holes. Caitlin threw it out while I was incapacitated. Eh, I have lots more shirts, so I don't think I'll miss that one!

The other thing that I need to work through is the orange foot locker I got from my Grandpa Joe. It has stuff in there going back to when I was seven or eight years old. WAY BACK. My plan is to take pictures of things, make a blog entry about it, and then toss or donate it. I'm certain there are some toys in there too, and those I might give to Erini and Bronwyn, depending on what shape they're in. I can start with that project now because we picked up the camera from the Tolley's on Sunday.

There is still a bunch of stuff that's over there, such as all the boxes in the Mezzanine, and a couple of jackets, and there's my murse that I can't seem to find anywhere. Caitlin suggested that it's hanging behind my striped jacket, but I'll have to check next time we're over there.

Pride

Monday 21 Feb 2011 Life changed in an instant for my family. We were enjoying the lovely sledding activity at Bearspaw, though I was a little concerned that the hill was so steep, and slick. I just wanted to show off my new sled, the Zipfy, that I had not had a lot of chance to try out. Previously, I had taken a few runs, and hit the jump at the bottom, sending myself, and my daughter all over the hill. The second to last run I tried my hardest to stay on course, and with the big blue sled, it seemed natural to lean back after I went over the jump. I now wonder if that is what did me in. On my final run, using the Zipfy sled, I had a good start, good run, and moments before I hit the jump at the bottom the though crossed my mind that I was going far too fast. A shame I didn't act on it, because over the jump I went, and down I came. Unlike the previous Zipfy run, I tried to keep the sled under my butt. This transferred the shock of impact right through me, and peaked at my L1 vertebrae, inducing a burst fracture of the spinal column segment.

I didn't know those particular details at the time, but what I did know was that I was hurt. Very badly. There were a few boys from Jamie Brown's family who asked if I was ok after they celebrated my amazing jump. Then their inquiry turned to alert, then panic when I told them that I was not okay, and I needed help. They called, “MEDIC!” and waved their arms crossing them above their heads, the universal sign of help, and Caitlin came down as quick as she could. A little too quick, but she was able to stop herself from doing a faceplant in the snow. The best I could do was roll around, and Caitlin helped stretch out my back. I was quite comfortable lying on the snow, and as it turns out, icing a break is the best thing to do.

But I couldn't stay there forever, and after some rolling around, I managed to get to my feet. With the aid of Caitlin and Mike Meldrum, we were able to slowly walk up the hill. Some would say it was the longest walk ever, and while it was painful, I just focused on taking one step at a time, and before I knew it, we were at the top. Once at the top, I walked unaided back to the church building where I was looked over my Mark Sommerfelt. He checked to make sure all parts of my legs were still responsive, indicating there wasn't any nerve damage, but he strongly advised getting xrays to be sure what was wrong, and further advised it would be best to get an ambulance to take me there. In hindsight, that might have been a good idea, but when he made that ambulance suggestion, that's when the Tolley's showed up. I then opted to get a ride with Dad Tolley to the Grey Nuns Emergency in their GMC Sonoma. The most difficult thing was getting in and out of the vehicle.

Once at the hospital, Dad Tolley got me a wheelchair so that I didn't have to walk anymore, and that helped a little. After the preliminary check-in, he left me in the waiting room and told me to call him when they have a full diagnosis. It was at this point that I really had to use the bathroom, and was able to do so successfully. At the time I was just relieved to empty my bladder, but the fact I had full control of my bladder and bowels meant I had very little, if any, spinal nerve damage.

Once I was seen by a doctor, they but me on a bed with a slider board, in Front Hallway #2 area. With the exception of going for xrays and a CT scan, I was there for seven and a half hours. I'll tell you this much, if you think that hospitals are boring, try staring at the ceiling for seven hours! To be fair, I had my cell phone with me, and I was posting to Facebook and Twitter like there was no limit to my text plan. I also made a few calls, but it was encouraging to get words from people that were worried about me, and hoping all the best for my recovery.

I was a little frustrated, thinking that this was all a little overblown, and that I was going to be discharged once they came back with the results from the xray. When the doctor came back with a somber look on his face, then announced that I had fractured my L1, my entire attitude changed. I started crying and I was near inconsolable. The attending nurse asked if I needed a painkiller, to which I just told him that I was really freaked out. He told me to think positive.

There are few times in my life that I have felt quite that vulnerable. My other visits to the hospital, such as May 16, 2005, and November 3, 2004 are very close to match the intensity of worry and fear that choked my soul. Another time I had the same sense of dread was when I failed two courses in my second year. I was forced to face consequences for my actions and the reality of failure. With the engineering courses, they were quite difficult and required a significant amount of work, something that I didn't put in to the full force that I should have. Yes, I finished my degree and never had to take Dean's Vacation, but sometimes I wonder if that would have given me the needed boot in the rear that could have got me into a career that has a bit more of a future than an office assistant.

I need to get my resume and cover letter prepped for the tech position a family friend has waiting in the wings. It's not based in Edmonton, but it should pay sufficient, and it should also be a bit more fulfilling than what I do now.

Returning to the matter of my injury, after the CT scan confirmed the fracture, the official word was L1 burst fracture. The treatment would involve a back brace, which would be fitted at the Royal Alexandria Hospital, north of the downtown core. That meant I would have to be transported via ambulance. That was quite the experience, because they had to put a collar on me, strap me down to a spinal board, which was thicker and harder than the one I been lying on for the past eight hours. Though the trip was less than half an hour, my pelvic bone was just screaming in pain by the time we got there. Once I was on a bed, and the board was out, I was much relieved.

Then I needed to get some basic examinations. Like a rectal exam. As of 11:15pm 21 Feb 2011, I no longer have a virgin butt. Not to say it was a painful experience, just awkward. Especially since it was a male doctor that did the exam, and four female nurses were watching. That kind of sounds like a really kinky porn movie.

The events that followed get a little fuzzy. Largely due to the morphine that I was given to deal with the pain that I said was like a 12 on a scale from 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest. In retrospect, I probably didn't need the meds that bad. But that's in retrospect, and when you're in the thick of it, it's hard to judge what to do.

The Secret Behind The Great Canadian Coffee

I'm not a big coffee drinker, in fact I can count on one hand the number of times I've had coffee, and that was Swiss Water Decaf with a sizable amount of cream and sugar. I'm more a hot chocolate guy. However, my coworkers are a different sort, and my boss is a class of his own. As things go, we ran out of coffee, and not knowing the difference, the operations manager (ironically also of the hot chocolate camp) ordered some more coffee through Staples. Was it because it's cheaper? Maybe. Was it because Staples has same day delivery with Tim Hortons does not? More so. Whatever the reasoning was, a red canister of Folgers graced our office, much to the chagrin of my boss. He drank it all the same, but when he found out what had happened, he brought to our attention that the was only one type of coffee that should be brewed in the office.
He even brought out one of the empty cans to demonstrate which type, in case there was any misunderstanding. President's Choice 'The Great Canadian Coffee' was the coffee of choice for the office for a very particular reason. Was my boss partial to PC products, or just cheap? A little bit of both and a little of neither is the correct answer.

Turns out President's Choice coffee is also sold under another label, but this fact is not widely known. As my boss tells it, one time he was reading over the coffee can - he can't remember why - and noticed there was a mention of Tim Hortons on the can. My boss knows everyone and their third cousins, and one of his acquaintances owns a Tim Hortons coffee shop. Boss man calls him up and asks about this mention of Timmies on a PC coffee can and his friend divulges an interesting secret. 'The Great Canadian Coffee' and Tim Hortons coffee are identical. After telling us the scathing secret, he looked over the can to point out this tidbit of info, only to find it wasn't there.

For curiosity's sake, I looked over the can myself, and found an interesting anecdote labeled, "Chef's Tip." It reads: For a "true north" taste experience, try your coffee "double double" with your favourite donut.

"Double double" and favourite donut. Hmmm... What kind of "true north" experience could they possibly be hinting at?

However, there's more to this story. Just to prove that this PC coffee is just as good as Timmies, my boss went and bought a can of each, brewed a pot of each, and had the coffee drinkers do a taste test. Thought it was tough to pick for some people, everyone picked the PC brand.

I'm still sticking with hot chocolate.

Road to recovery

Funny to think that I need group therapy of some sort at this point.
Actually, it's not funny at all, because I think that's what's been
missing for some time now. I was trying to get a reference from my
doctor to go back to the clinic, which I haven't been to in years, but
that has yet to turn results.

Then the other day, Tuesday 8 June 2010 to be precise, I found that
perhaps the kind of therapy I need you don't get at a hospital. The
LDS Addiction Recovery Program is available to all, is free to attend,
and you do not need to have a reference to attend. I was considering
attending for some time, but after a conversation with my wife, we
both came to the conclusion that I should go to these LARP sessions.

I might have just crossed a geek line, but that's ok. I say that
because though I was very intimidated to attend this meeting, it was
ultimately very much worth going! I plan to attend next week as well.

The funny thing is the last time I went to this ARP meeting, I found
it very frustrating, and I recognized someone there. I then felt very
much like I shouldn't be there, plus the structure of the meeting I
found to be (at the time) very pointless. This time though, I went by
myself, and walked through that door with the confidence that I wanted
to be there because I needed to be there.

It was a great uplifting experience and I'm going to do my best to
study the workbook that I picked up.

Oddly enough, I lost that buzz when I came home and turned on Glee.
After I managed to sit through the episode, I tweeted the following:
"Finally satthrough an episode of #Glee. Mightget more of the CDs.
Why? Because the musical talent of this show outweighs the acting."

iPressure

28 May 2010 marked an important day for Macintosh aficionados across
the globe with the release of the much praised, sometimes fabled,
iPad. Edmonton, Alberta also had the opening of a new Apple Store.
Tweets abounded from every sector of Edmonton as people clamoured to
get their hands on the precious commodity that had finally been
officially released outside the United States. Not to say that people
weren't tripping over themselves prior to this date. I know of one
person in my local church congregation that has had an iPad for close
to a month now, and I was able to try it out. From my experience,
would I say the iPad is a wonderful device? Yes. Magical? Not
really. Easy to use? Definitely. Would I take time off work to sit
in line to get one? No. Would I search the city to find one, after
completing my regular work day? No. Would I wait until there was
sufficient funds in my bank account before embarking on a search to
find an iPad? No, no, and again I say no.

I have no strong affinity to the Macintosh name - even in my choice of
fruit I would sooner pick Spartan or Pink Lady - and thus do not see a
need to join the masses who praise the works of the great Steve Jobs.
That is not to say that I dislike Mr. Jobs and everything he is
associated with, for if that were so, I would have to stop utilizing
the moderately coherent phrase 'PIXAR4LIFE' whenever I talk about
animated films.

And that is not to say that I was not ever tempted to purchase an
Apple product. Recall in January 2010, after we had received a $15
iTunes gift card as a Christmas gift, I was near ready to purchase an
iPod Touch. This same temptation surfaced when I broke my iPaq in
October 2009, such to the point that I posted the iTem on my christmas
wish list. Once my brilliant wife repaired iPaq, I amended my wish
list. As for the gift card, we used it to buy an album which iTunes
allowed me to burn to CD, and we also aquired a portable DVD player
for half the cost of a basic iPod Touch. This investment was quite
prudent as now we're able to watch movies after Rini has gone to bed,
and also provide some entertainment on long car trips, such as the one
we recent made to Taber.

But the iPad is still a wonderous little device, and once prices drop,
I could see devices similar to it become more the norm. Tablet
technology is not new, far from it. Ten years ago someone gave a very
similar speech to the one Jobs gave in late January 2010. Tablet
computers were to be the wave of the future, and soon they would
become commonplace. Up until 2009, tablet computers generally carried
a four digit price tag, and were fragile like aluminum foil coated in
glass. They might survive one drop, but unless these devices were
protected like the Panasonic toughbook, they were not generally used
for consumer use. Commercial and industrial applications abound, plus
they make for wonderful product placement props on CSI:NY.

At the end of the day, why would I want to throw my hat into the ring
with this new product? Because it's the new 'it' gadget? I would
have the oppurtunity to be at the forefront of technological history?
It's trendy and fashionable? Everyone else is doing it? These are
the questions I find myself surrounded with. Petty, insipid, and
otherwise pointless questions that do not garner the need to be
addressed at this time. True, iPaq's wifi card will only work on
802.11b, but for what I need right now, that's enough.

I would almost consider getting a chinese knockoff, such as the APAD
which my coworker purchased on eBay for a paltry $150. Running on
Android, it has a similar interface, but has the flexibility to allow
for additional peripherals. USB keyboard, mouse, and external hard
drive just to name a few are some of the differences from the iPad.

If I would be using the device for the same functions that I use iPaq,
it would have to be decent for writing, tweeting, email and internet
browsing primarily. Music and movies would be secondary.

But I will have to wait for the day when that want becomes a need.
There are other things that I can devote my attention to right now.
Like the fact I got to help my little girl ride a bike today!

The prodigal blogger returns

Not to say that I've been going on benders and attending shaker after
shaker, but I have not been a responsible with my writing as of late.
The irony is that I've been writing on LDSJournal.com with the
intention of one day turning the entries into a book. I have two
blogs, a twitter account, and I still thought that it would be
ingenius to sign up for something else to have it all published one
day!

With one quick Google search, I discovered blurb.com which is a
publishing service for small quantities. All I have to do is download
the software, and put together the entries I want published, and a
softcover book can be put together for as little as $4.95. I'm
thinking that I would be closer to the $15 side of things. Still, it
would be nice to have the entries all strung together in one complete
volume.

Another reason why I have returned to this blog, and may abandon
LDSJournal.com altogether, is the ability to do email entries. In
order to do it with blogger, you simply set up and email address for
the blog to receive, and away you go. With LDSJournal.com, it's the
same thing, but you have to enroll in the Gold Program, which has a
$30 annual fee attached to it. Yeah. Plus, with the journaling, I
wasn't adding hyperlinks, nor was I adding any pictures. Once these
facts hit me in the face like a wet fish, I saw that I had the
solution in front of me the whole time. I just had to go back to what
I had.

I've had a bit of a gadget bug for the last little while. I would
think that the iPad has a lot to do with that, not only because of the
hype that's been mulling for months, but also because I was able to
try it out myself. It is a formidable device, and indeed I wouldn't
mind owning one. However, my iPaq is still functioning very well, and
is sufficient for my needs. I use it as a writing tool, and for
scriptures as well as a lesson manual. Not to mention the mircophone
which takes decent memos. I will admit the size of the font on the
message window for the mobile gmail is a bit of a pain to work with,
especially when you're tired, but it does work, and I can spot
something if it doesn't look right.

Push comes to shove, I could just borrow Dory to do entries from time to time.

Do I really need something else right now to validate my need for
toys? Not really. What I do need is a new home for my family. Baby
#2 is on its way in September, and we have to be ready.

Hope of the season

Originally written 22 Dec 2009

----------------------------

With the Christmas season comes the idea of peace on earth and good will towards men. Such is the same thing in our household, expect when we have the dinner table battle to get food in! I suppose I'll never understand my daughter, but it's best to keep trying, that way when she tries to understand me, we might have some regions of understanding overlapping. I'm quite sure we won't understand everything, but if we connect in some way, that would help.

Stay on target

In an effort to keep myself in good health, I am going to attempt, once again, to write something every day.

I don't want to make twitter comments my only writing in a day, and therefore will restrict myself to a few minutes of blogging.

Went sledding with my daughter, and I finally got my Secret Santa gift. Plus a gift for my wife, using a gift bag from one of our suppliers.

I still say that Caitlin is going be blown away by her Christmas present, and she doesn't know what's in store for her. At least I hope so.

Time's up.

Lots of firsts

It was a weekend for a lot of firsts. We used our tent for the first time since we received it as a Christmas gift. It was Rini's first time sleeping in a tent. It was my first time sleeping in a double sleeping bag, and the first time I have ever slept on an air mattress. I'm not sure about the last one, but I do recall that my family used foam mattress for most of our camping excursions. I thought yoga mats would have the same feel, but after a very poor sleep at the Priesthood camp a couple months back, I realized I was very wrong.

A few wise purchases later, and we are already for our tenting expedition. It was quite the adventure putting Rini to bed in a sleeping bag since a) she had never slept in one, and b) our bed was right beside hers! The toughest challenge was getting her to stay in her sleeping bag, because she kept crawling into ours.

This did open my eyes to how we could deal on our own for a camping trip, and just how ill prepared we are in some areas. Hence I'm glad we had this test run before we went off to who knows where for our vacation at the end of August.

The plan is to go to Banff, but with the cost of the campsite being $27/night, the fire pit for the campsite an additional $8.80/night, and the park pass $19/night, we are considering camping somewhere else. Some where... cheaper. But with some camp grounds you get what you pay for.

We are also considering inviting some friends to come along with us, and we'll have to see how that will work out. First they have to finish moving, and then we'll see if we can get along for dinner, much less an entire weekend together! But, there has been a invitation to play Blokus, so I would think that things would run smoothly.

New hope and New life

I haven't figured out how to get http://twitter.com working through iPaq, but I can
post on my cell phone. I might be attaching a widget to this blog to
get the twitter feed, since I update that much more often than the
blog. Mind, I can also update Twitter via text.

It's pretty fun!

Old goals and new ones

I haven't been keeping much up in terms of this blog, nor the other
one, but this is largely due to the fact that... I'm lazy. I've also
done a lot more reading and watched a considerable amount of House
(the Medical Drama starring the caustic Hugh Laurie) since I was able
to procure season two from the Library. Freaky episode when he gets
shot. In retrospect, you almost wonder why no one had attempted to
shoot him before. Now that I ponder it, he got abused quite a bit in
the second season. I still think my favourite episode was the one the
had 'Matt' from Heroes guest star. Although the actor did appear as
the character from the Heroes series, he did a formidable job.
Caitlin and I kept saying that he should just read their minds and
quit asking them questions. In the end, turns out that if the doctors
were mind readers, it would have saved a lot of hassle. The six month
episode was very well done too, but I was sad the mom had to die.

In any case, I was going to mention the fact that I had a PPI with EQ
pres, and I made me realize that I need to take scripture study up
again. Really helps focus your thoughts, as does writing.

I'm not sure if writing actually helps focus thoughts, or if it's just
a matter that you can write something down, and clear up your head for
other things at hand. Goodness knows that's the only reason I'm doing
as well at my job as I am right now. I continually write reminders to
myself on Outlook to tell me to call people, fax things, and take out
the trash. I have a great memory, it's just a bit too much like a
sieve.

I also set a bunch of reminders on my cell phone. I used to do it with
iPaq, but I have realized of late that I usually always have my phone
with me. Plus, the alarm is louder. This has helped immensely in
recent days with reminding me to talk my meds. This was the thing
that tipped me off. If I can remember to take my meds each day, why
not dedicate time to study scriptures about that time? Take physical
meds, take spiritual meds. Works right? Not yet. Of the five days
I've had this goal, I've only done it once. Eighty percent failure
rate. Ouch. Well, I shouldn't be so hard on myself, because today is
the fifth day. I'm going to study up after I'm done here, and then
it's off to sleep. Waking up to fresh bread is great, but actually
sleeping is a great treat too.

I am so glad Caitlin convinced me to get that "Better Homes and
Gardens" Cookbook. I had no idea that there was bread maker receipes
in there!

Production ideas

I was thinking of examples on how to demonstare pace to the people in
the production of "The Emperor's New Clothes." We want to have the
lines flowing, kind of like a relay race. Passing the baton from
runner to runner. The pass is made when the receiver is close to top
speed, and does not look back when they grab to baton. Therefore the
average speed of the baton is quite fast.

I found another one, or maybe there's lots of them out there, and I
just found this one. In the Pixar movie, "The Incredibles" there are
a number of action sequences, but the dialogue is quite speedy too.
When Helen and Bob are bantering regarding directions, it's very snap,
snap quick, and moves with the chaos of the truck. Then there is also
the conversation with Lucious and Honey. It's line upon line upon
line. The next one starts just about before the other one finishes.
That kind of the pace you want these productions to move at, unless
you have a bit of a pause on purpose.

Any kind of pause will make things seem a little odd, or tense, again,
its all of what you want to set the mood with.

Having a beardie feels a little weirdie

Monday was the day the I decided for the second time in my life that I
would grow some facial hair. It was Caitlin's insistance actually.
She thought that I look much better with some sort of beard. My
calling does not require that I be clean shaven, and neither does my
work place. Plus, Caitlin has been growing out her hair at my
insistance, and she's been doing it for over a year now. I think she
looks very nice with longer hair, and she's starting to get used to
it.

As for the beard, it feels interesting, but a little odd at the same
time. For the first couple of days, I thought that I needed to shave,
but then I remembered that I was growing it out. Now, it's a bit
softer, and gives me something to rub when I think. Gives my head a
break from being scratched up.

The dryness in the air is doing enough work in that department, I
don't need to help it along. The weather has been as cold as it has
been dry. Bleh. All this week there was the promise that it was
going to warm up, get temperatures somewhere in the single digits.
Yeah. I'm thinking that's never going to happen! But wait! There's
the weekend. We are promised temperatures that are actually above
zero! I think I'll believe it when I see it.

I know. Faith is important. If it wasn't for faith, the sun wouldn't
rise in the morning, right? I have faith. Faith in my wife,
(girlfriend, at the time) was what kept us from going in the ditch
that one blustery night we went to Red Deer. That was crazy, and
scary.

Complete whiteout. No cars in front of us, just a wall of white.
Then the snow let up a bit, and we could see the road again. Almost
every time, Caitlin would tell me we were in the middle of the road.
I couldn't see the road to my right or my left, all I saw were the
wells left in place by the many cars that had travelled the road. If
I trusted her, and she was right, then we would be fine, and we
wouldn't run into the cars that were in the opposite lane. If she was
wrong, we would go into the ditch. Everytime, she was right. I would
steer over to the right, and sure enough, there was the rest of the
lane that I had hopped out of when the road was whited out.

I trusted her then, and I trust her now when she says that I look nice
with a beard. It's not that much of a sacrifice, but it's something
that is taking a bit of getting used to. Happy wife; Happy life.

The other thing is that we have determined what we are going to be
doing for the Calgary Comic Expo. We did have the idea to do Raz, but
we are going to push that for another year. I don't think we would
have been able to pull it off in the amount of time we have right now.
I shouldn't say what we are planning, but suffice it to say, we are
going to be experimenting with some wigs that we're going to pick up
from Shirley Potters.

Christmas cheer for all

Christmas is an interesting time. Fascinating really. You have people rushing around, doing this, getting that, wondering if they have everything, and those are the people who do their shopping online! As for the malls, that can get to be a bit more of a zoo. I went out to the mall today to get some last minute Christmas shopping done, and the crowd wasn't quite what I imagined it would be. Then again, I went to Millwoods Town Center, not West Edmonton Mall or Kingsway. I'm not that crazy. I found what I needed and then some. I was rather proud of myself that I found a gift all by myself. Now, I'm just wondering how this gift will be received, and if it proves that I really don't know people as well as I thought. I've done some pretty bad gifts in the past, but this one I gave it a bit more thought, and it felt right.

I was listening to The Bear and I caught the end of the song. The song was actually over, but the announcer was talking about the song, and the album it was from. I was a little surprised when he said that it was a Christmas song, and further surprised when he said it was from We Wish You a Metal Christmas and a Headbanging New Year. Not exactly music that stirs the soul and makes you dream about sugarplums, but it's still a pretty good disc if you're into the harder music scene. I happened to know that Duff is into that kind of thing, or at least he used to be, and I thought that he would enjoy it. Not exactly the best music to play around kids, but the music was not recorded with that in mind. That or people who let their kids listen to Metal, they have different ideas about what's good for a child to listen to. I have heard of some kids who play Rock Band, and know all the words to Nirvana songs. That's a little freaky, but that's just me.

Turns out my fear about getting ousted was unfounded. People were just getting a little flustered with the amount of work that has piled up on ourselves, and it was starting to show on everyone. Plus taking meds made things a little bit easier to deal with.

We had a wonderful gift exchange, and also received some good news about one of the salesperson's newest addition to his family! Olivia Noella. Cute little girl, eight lbs, 22". I guessed wrong, and therefore did not win the baby pool. Doesn't really matter though, because the money from the pool went to the new daddy, because the person who won thought that he could use the money more than anyone else. AND IT'S TRUE. When you first start off, it's good to have some extra cash to cover costs like diapers and formula (unless she breastfeeds, unlike Rini), but after the first couple months, or weeks, the thing you need more than anything is SLEEP. That's hard to wrap.

But the presents I got in the gift exchange at work were quite easy to wrap, except for one. The metal sign which reads, "NO TRESPASSING: Violators will be shot, and survivors will be shot again;" easy to wrap. The magnet attached to it reading, "Come over to the Dark Side... we have cookies!" Easy to wrap. The little plastic trash can with the blinking lights and three pads of note paper and the stress ball. Easy to wrap. The bookmark with the Chinese (Japanese) character for faith and the beautiful pen set, both were easy to wrap. Even the wine set, that was easy to wrap too. But the one gift that I was really looking forward to, that I'm not even sure if you can call a gift, was very hard to wrap. In fact, it's a gift you get all year long. I got a raise! I was hoping for a bonus, but I'll take a raise just as steadily!

Merry Christmas, and the best of the season to everyone! Double for anyone who read this!

This is what happens when you don't take your meds

I'm starting to wonder just how much I enjoy my job right now.
Before, it was simple enough, and I was in a groove. Now, I'm never
sure what's going on. I don't have much of a plan of what I'm going
to do in the day, because most of the time, I can never get to it.
There is always something that grabs my time, and by the end of the
day, what I had planned to do remains undone, along with a number of
other things.

I'm going to sound a little emo here, but I was also a bit depressed,
and I really didn't want to be at work anymore. I was even told to do
something directly, and I didn't do it, because I felt that I had
something more important to do. Never mind that I had chased down
accounts all morning, the fact that I had not resolved all the
accounts and there were still a very large amount outstanding
remained. Effort is good, but at the end of the day, we need results.
If results are not there, then the day was a waste.

Or so it seems. The message I got was, "You are not doing your job,
and if you don't do it, then someone else will have to do it." What I
heard had a lot more expletives. I tend to do that when I'm
frustrated with myself. I also almost crashed the car a couple times
too because I was driving a little recklessly because I was so angry
with myself.

Then Caitlin reminded me of something I forgot. Meds. Haven't taken
them for over two weeks now, and it's starting to show. I might have
to switch to more than once a week. If it helps me focus, then it
will be worth it in the end.

It's hard to be a responsible father with an orange braclet on the fourth floor.

Phones and Phunnies

It's kind of odd that today, I spent close to two hours on the phone. First conversation was with my Grandma, and I haven't talked to her for some time, plus I needed to thank her for paying for our AMA membership. It was nice to catch up, and I also found that talking to her educated me a little about my family history. I know that dad has handled most of the things on his side, and I have taken responsibility for most of mom's side, but it was still interesting to hear the stories from Grandma first hand.

Than I talked with Morgan for the better part of forty five minutes.
It was great to talk trash with a guy for once. It's nice to talk to
your spouse, but when you freely call your friends idiots and they
know you speak in jest, it feels great! Sad thing is we're both on
the same boat. In dire need to talk to another guy! You can only
take so much of baby and wife before you have to do something
masculine like trap someone in an outhouse by roping it shut, tipping
it over, and setting it on fire. Barring the actual performance of
such an atrocity, you can talk about it to some degree with someone.

Another thing I've been doing lately, as I avoid household chores, is
watching videos from thatguywiththeglasses.com. Screamingly funny,
although it does take a certain type of person to understand the
humour and not be offended by it. Utards would definitely hate it and
visit with their priesthood authority after seeing some of the videos.
In reference to Hellboy II:The Golden Army, the bum said, "I don't
think I saw this movie. I think I was having a crack fantasy."

If you don't think that's funny, then a) you never saw the movie nor
the first one, or b) you don't plan on seeing the movie nor the
previous one.

Me? I'm going to laugh myself to sleep now.

How NOT to start a car in the dead of winter

I discovered that there is a proper way to operate a block heater. It involves a cord that is plugged into the block heater cord, and a functioning power circuit for the extension cord to connect to!

The first I discovered when we went out to the car around 1pm, with the intention of gettig some Christmas shopping done. How Foolish! The car was a frozen solid block of steel! Hence I tried the connection, which was not in place, and Caitlin and Rini and I all went to the park while Elene charged. When we returned, we found her UNPLUGGED. Now I understand that the car consumes a substantial amount of power when connected to the block heater, but know this, IF THE CAR IS TO FUNCTION IN TEMPERATURES OF MINUS HELL FROZEN OVER, IT NEEDS TO BE PLUGGED IN!

After this brief frustation, I used my super heated breath, at a temperature 60 degrees Celcius warmer than the air surrounding us, to melt the snow and ice that was in the plug, and connected it with all my might.

I return an hour later, just to see if this is working at all, and the engine refused to turn over. In fact it refused to do pretty much any thing aside from a dull 'Ruh ruh ruh ruh ruh,' which sounded awfully pathetic.

With the wisdom that it requires at least two hours for the engine to be sufficiently warm to function in the temperature, I returned to my humble basement abode to warm my tingling fingertips and everything else that was starting to freeze. More time passes, and we inform some of our friends that we will not be attending their Christmas party, and I go out into the frigid cold to attempt to bring Elene out of the frozen prison that has encased her. Alas, I am met with failure yet again.

At this point, I notice that there has been no change whatsoever in the sound of the engine each time I have tried the ignition. I would have though that three or four hours would be plenty of time to toastify the block and fluids inside. I inspect the cord, and everything seems fine. Nevertheless, I switch out the cord, with the hope that this new cord will function slightly better.

I then call the home of the other party we were hoping to attend tonight, and inform them that I was cancelling my RSVP. A bit of a bother, since I was hoping to get in touch with some people that I haven't seen in litterally years, but such is the arrangement, that it was not to be.

I have heard this said by others and myself, "Always listen to your wife." Caitlin asked me if I had checked the circuit breaker, or maybe she told me there was no way that we were going to make the party because we would have had to turn around and come home when we got there. One or the other. In any case, I checked the breaker next, and sure enough, there was a trip. With a flick of the switch, I headed back out to check on the car and the motion detector light that was on the same circuit. Wouldn't you know, I killed two birds with one stone. I don't know if Elene will start now, but I do know that the light is now operational.

What did we learn? My neighbour doesn't quite understand how a block heater works and it is possible to trip a breaker using a block heater.

Most wonderful time...

For a beer! I need to get me some Allen & Wright to have in a frosted
mug. Mmmm...

I mention this because one of my co-workers went to West Ed on Dec 6,
first saturday in december, hoping to do some Christmas shopping.
Once he saw the crowds, he and his buddies decided to go to Hooters
and drink some beer. Then they braved the mall again, only to turn
around, go back to Hooters and drink more beer. After they had
quaffed their beverages, they decided to pick up and leave, hit a
liqour store, and go home. Now that is a holiday tale, no?

That the best thing that I could think of for the moment. Since I
was sick yesterday, work piled up a bit and I stayed late. I'll
probably stay late again in order to try to catch up with the workload
we have before the end of the year. Only nine working days left!
Actually, it's more like eight because we all know that Dec 24 and Dec
31 are going to be short days. It still beats the workload I had last
year, and I don't have to worry about people stealing hundreds of
dollars worth of merchendise.

Time for bed.

Power shift

We've had Elene, our 1986 Hyundai Excel, in our family for close to a year now, and it has taken me a while to get used to her. She has a standard transmission, so that was a chore to learn. However, last Friday, one of my co-workers told me something about a standard transmission that I knew previously, but had forgotten. This was the simple matter of how to do a power shift or proper shift. The clutch is only used to drop the car into first gear, and from first to second. After that, you don't need the clutch to change gears, and you're better off not using the clutch. That being said, that reminds me of 'Little Miss Sunshine,' where a repairman tells them the exact same thing that I just wrote! This is because their clutch burns out, and they have to push the vehicle to get some speed, then the dad puts the car into third, turns on the ignition, and then everyone jumps into the van. Rather funny to watch actually!

But in the past few days, I have been trying to power shift. Sometimes to lesser success. Caitlin has become rather irritated with my endevour, and it reminds me of when I was attempting to master a certain maneuver in Super Mario Bros. My siblings would get annoyed with me as I tried again and again, telling me that I could just jump over the obstacle instead of trying to slide under it. I kept trying and trying, and eventually I was able to pull it off quite easily. I think the only purpose of that was a lesson in perseverance. Then again, I learned lessons in adversity while on my mission, and while training for the triathlons I ran back in 2002. Getting my engineering degree, despite the fact that I was diagnosed with a mental disorder, was another matter of perseverance. And now, I'm a daddy. Father. Papa... I like daddy best. Maybe dad, but father sounds a bit austere.

Like any type of new lesson, it requires hard work, and sticking at it. Of course it does help if you get pointers from people who know what the heck they are doing! If it wasn't for Eric's bit on how he was very slow on the clutch when he was on hills, I probably never would have figured out how to do a smooth start. I'm still slow on the clutch release on the start, but it works better if you go slower than faster. The car likes you better for it. As for power shifting, I think it would be a little bit easier if the car had a tachometer. As it is, and how it's always been, I have to listen to the engine to know when it's time to shift. The speedometer helps too, but for the more part, I have to listen to the engine to know when she's ready to climb to another gear. On a bicycle, it's easy to know when the gear you're in is the proper one, or if you have to shift higher or lower. You're legs tend to communicate rather well with your brain. But with a car, you don't quite have that kind of connection. It's more of a sensation of how fast you're going, and you need to be able to sense that you've plateaued. The only way to go faster is if you gear up. When you're slowing down, you need to be able to sense if the engine is working to hard, and you need to gear down to prevent the engine from blowing itself apart. Listening to the engine is a big part of it, especially without the tach, but it's also a certain bit of driver intuition. I'm still working on that.

I have a feeling that parenting is going to be a lot like that as well. When I'm in neighbourhoods, you have to go a little bit slower, and by so doing, there's not much point to bring her higher than third. On the thoroughfare roads, I can pop her into fourth, and she motors along well. On the highway, she needs fifth, or else we are not going to get very far very quickly. Pulling into the alley, she needs to be in second to accommodate for the low speed. There will be times when Rini needs to take things slow, so she can get used to things, and then she can jump into the higher gears. But I can't control this little girl like I can a car. She's going to grow up, live her own life, and I hope that I'll still have a part in it. It might not be a very big part, but I'll still be there.

Somewhere.

As long as I remember that my wife is still the most important person in my life, aside from God, I'm sure I'll do well. Next to my own family, she's the only person I've spent this much time with, and been this honest with. I do look forward to spending the rest of my life and beyond with her, but we will have to go through numerous changes as time goes by.

I just started reading "The Celestial City," by Chad Daybell, the second book in a series of five that follows the story of three couples in the final days. Call me a sucker for doomsday stories, but this one has a different tone to it. The author has a disclaimer at the beginning of both books stressing that this is a work of fiction. Although he does use some parts from scriptures and prophecies, the books are still works of fiction, and should not be treated as any type of prophetic diction. It still makes you question what is really important in your life. It makes you wonder, if you were told to leave immediately with minimal amounts of food and clothing, and flee for your life, would you do it? Would you get on board the ark? Would you help build an ark in a time of plenty? Would you build a food storage against the storms to come? At what point do you draw the line in the sand of morality? Would you kill someone in defense, or pleasure? If you were part of an ethnic cleansing, how would you feel if you were the hunter? Or the hunted?

It's frightening to think about, and a lot of people don't think about it, because they prefer to not imagine the horror attributed to the decisions, or the circumstances that would require such choices to be made. I am quite sure that there are a number of people who think the doom sayers are full of it, but there will come a day when you will stand before your maker to account for what you did in your life. I call him Jesus Christ. You can call him Buddha, or Jehovah, or Yahweh, or whatever name you like, but there will come a day when you will realize that Jesus is the Christ. At that point, you may still not choose to accept him, and I am quite sure he will not pressure you otherwise. We all have our agency to choose to be who we will be, and by making that choice, we also choose the consequences. If you push something, it will push back, Newton's third law.

Perhaps I've said too much.

I'm going to sleep now. I have work tomorrow.