Playing the waiting game

I've heard it said that if you want things to happen in life, you need to go out and make it happen. That or I just listen to myself too much these days. Nevertheless, after I've licked my wounds from being dismissed and found another job, two jobs actually, I have to bid my time. I have to wait until I'm called with my assignment of where I'll be working. I have to wait until I can actually go out and do some productive work. I have to wait until the Buffalo/Canes series is done so that I can know who the Oilers are going to crush in the Stanley Cup Playoffs!

Speaking of the Cup, some people get a little carried away with their fan spirit to the point that it becomes their Guiding Light. I never knew Lord Stanley's Cup would inspire such awe and excitement. I'm also curious if they did that scene in one take. I couldn't. I seriously hope that was just a publicity thing they did for nhl.com.

The only thing I don't like about the playoffs, is that Ford is a big sponsor of Hockey Night in Canada, which is what I, and most everyone in Canada, watch to follow the action. I'm not embittered by the fact that I was fired by them, at least not as much. However, I do need to go there to drop off the shirt that they assigned to me. In fact I should do that today since I have the shirt washed. I could drop off some stuff at the library while I'm out too.

Speaking of which, I highly recommend an interesting movie from 1934 called The Thin Man. It's a clever mystery/comedy and gives each side its due, but doesn't lean to heavily to one or the other. It's also good natured humour that doesn't delve into fart and sex jokes to put a smile on your face. There is one joke about one of the characters being a sexagenarian, and that he openly admitted it. The news reports who hear this are leary of writing that, until they find out that it means he was 60 years old. Sheesh! And I thought my english was bad. Then there's also the time when the police are rooting through a woman's dresser, and the lady pipes up, "What are they doing in my drawers?" The husband then sprays his drink in its glass. :P :) Caitlin and I loved it.

It almost makes me wonder why people who complain about the state of Hollywood today don't take a look at what has been done in years gone past? Sure, the film might be in Black and white, it might just have mono sound, and the special effects might seem trite, but these movies were made when movies relied on plot and character development. Granted Plan 9 from Outer Space is also from an older era, and the only reason that's a classic is because it's slated as one of the worst movies ever made, if not the worst.

I also picked up War of the Worlds (1953), and now I actually want to see the version done by Tom Cruise and Steven Speilberg just to see how it compares. I may stand alone in saying this, but I think some of Tom's movies are alright. Top Gun, Mission:Impossible, and Minority Report are a part of my DVD collection and I have watched each more than once. I mentioned M:I, because the first one was really cool even though I had to watch it five times in order to figure it out. The sequel had a number of plot holes that were patched over with crazy action. If I hadn't borrowed the DVD from someone, I would have said I wasted my money. Instead it was just my time that was sacrificed, which although is more valuable, I tend to have more of it than money. Due to the lack of money, I have yet to see, and therefore comment on, the third installment.

That's not to say I won't be seeing any movies at the theater this summer, quite the contrary. Caitlin and I are just saving the movie passes that we got for Christmas, and from cereal boxes for select movies that we really want to see. We used two of the six cereal box passes to see V for Vendetta, and the other four we plan to use to see X-Men 3 and Cars. We love X-Men, and we also love Pixar. Another reason we picked those movies is that the passes expire June 30, 2006. While the passes we got at Christmas we are going to use for Dead Man's Chest. Or Superman Returns. I'm still not sure. I should talk to Caitlin about that.

Baby thoughts

Jess and Chris had their first child at 2:40 am Friday morning 19 May 2006.
Benjamin Arthur Orr was born 8 lbs 8 oz 21'', and they are very happy, but very tired too. I heard that they didn't get much sleep Saturday night, because they had a crying child to deal with. Newborns are like that I hear. I wonder if that is because they miss being out of God's presence. Kind of like moving away from home to go to college, or going on a mission. Only it's more like you wake up somewhere, you're not really sure where you are, or how you got there. You don't recognize anyone, anything, everyone is talking to you, but you have no idea what they're saying. All you know is that you were somewhere else previously that was warm and comforting, and now you're in some alien environment. Who wouldn't cry all night?

It also made me think of Ender's Game, when the launchies are going to sleep for their first night. Sleep is a very loose term, because they're all crying, and it just gets louder when the officer looking after them tries to comfort them. Like cracking a dam of emotion, it just poured out once they knew there was an outlet.

Then again I might be thinking too deeply about this. Caitlin and I don't have children yet, and I don't know when we are going to have children. I know that Caitlin wants it to be soon, and I wouldn't mind having kids soon, but they are not for the faint of heart, or frail of mind.

This isn't to say that I can not ever have children, it's just that when I do, I had best be in control of myself, know my limits, and know what will happen when I try to push them, or when other people push me. I can't fathom what I would do with a crying child. A couple weeks ago I had an episode because I broke a glass. Mind you I hadn't taken my meds for a few days, and I was stressed, and it was the last of my favourite glasses. I hadn't frightened Caitlin that badly since May 16, 2005. I hated myself for losing control, and I asked Caitlin to forgive me immediately. She did, but if I ever do the same with a child... I don't know what would happen. I could land in the hospital again. I might lose my child to welfare authorities. My baby might get permanent damage if I get violent. It's not a nice thing to think about. And that's not even including the financial obligations. That's another kettle of fish altogether, and another entry.

That was quick

I already related the big event of today to a friend of mine via messenger, so here's a clip of the conversation. (My handle is the long one)

Steve says: Hey less
Less says: hi
Less says: how's life treating you
Steve says: Interesting question. I just got fired from a job a started two days ago
Less says: how did you get fired?
Steve says: I was working at Freedom Ford, as a porter
Less says: what is a porter, and why Ford?
Steve says: Porter is someone who drives vechiles around the lot, picks them up, drops them off, and yes I know Ford is a crap company, but a friend of mine works there and I thought it would be okay for the summer
Steve says: Yesterday, I got a Frito-lays van too close to the wall, and broke the glass plate on the wall light. No damage to the truck
Steve says: Then I was backing up a mini bus, and I got it sandwiched on a beat up SUV. Minor damage to the bus, and the SUV well, nothing that wasn't already there
Stevee says: But that wasn't what drove the nail into the coffin for me.
Less says: stuff like that is fairly normal at dealerships because there's so many vehicles, and you have to navigate between them
Less says: normally it takes a while to start smashing into things though, but it sounds like you got an early start
Steve says: What clinched it was when I was getting this vechile out of the breezeway
Steve says: Pretty nice car, and the owner is very particular about it
Steve says: It's also a standard, and after I stalled it for the fifth time the shop foreman told me to get out of the car, and he would take care of things for awhile. I should have sensed it then.
Less says: you don't drive standard?
Steve says: Not as well as I thought I could
Steve says: And that's what I told the service manager when he pulled me into his office
Steve says: He then told me that they service very high end cars, and they can't have people like me wrecking them, because if the owner saw what I did, he would be asking them to buy him a new car.
Steve says: I'm guessing that you drive standard?
Less says: I have in the past, it's been a while though, I'm quite rusty
Steve says: Well, I got my licence about 5 years ago.
Steve says: So I don't have a lot of experience driving standards. It's something that I would have to get into the practice
Less says: it would help

That's a new record for me. Two days at a job before I got fired. Maybe I shouldn't say I was fired, since Donald Trump trademarked that, rather I was "let go" as Clarence told me today at 7:45am. I saw Caitlin as she was leaving for work, and she consoled me for a little while, but she had to get going. I went back up to our apartment, sat down in the front entry chair, let my frustrations and despair leak out my eyes for a little, then laid down to sleep for a bit. Didn't work, so I figured I would call Brian and inform him of the news.

He was a little surprised when he saw my home number on his phone, and even further surprised when I told him I am no longer employed at Freedom Ford. This was a big surprise for him, since I was the second friend of his to get dismissed that day. The other one was Aaron, a service coordinator. My ears perked up at that, since I knew that Renee, Brian's girlfriend was up for that position. Turns out they were moving her in as we were talking. That would mean that her former position is available I would suppose, and I am much better at a desk job than I am at manual labour.

I don't know if they would want to see my face at Freedom anymore though, at least not in the driver's seat of a car! There are lots of job out there though, and I think I might look into resource protection. They are looking for people for the Bonnie Doon Sears, and that might be a good thing. Might. Just have to fill out an application and drop off a resume, and we'll see how things go from there.

Quote for the day: "Why do we fall, sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up." - Alfred Pennyworth, Batman Begins

Mother's Day thoughts

Another Mother's Day, and my wife still isn't a mother. Mothering me doesn't count apparently. Jessica is ready to pop any day now, so next year will be her first official Mother's Day. Meanwhile, Liz is celebrating Mother's Day in one way or another. However, and this really surprized my mom, every one of us, Jess, Liz, Jer, and me, left a message on the machine wishing mom a Happy Mother's Day. I know she's my step-mom, but after 20 years, you just get used to calling her mom. Heck, I think after a couple weeks I was calling her mom.

She doesn't really like Mother's Day a whole lot, because it reminds her of the time that she spent raising me and my sibs. Sometimes it was good, sometimes not. Much like any and all families. But my mom thinks she made more mistakes than most. Would I have turned out different had my birth mother not died and my dad remarried? In some ways yes, in others no. I am who I am, and I'm grateful that my mom was able to be there and teach me values that I've used throughout my life. Teach up a child the way he should go, and when he is older he shall not depart from it. I might be paraphasing.

I called my mom again, once Caitlin and I got home from visiting her family, and mom reminded me of something the sealer said when Cailtin and I got married. "This is the creation of creation." Something else my mom told me was that she knows that whatever happens to Caitlin and I, we'll always be together. We'll work through, struggle through, manage with what we have, no matter the circumstance.

The key thing is that we need to work at it though. These things don't just happen on their own.

Well, I best be getting to bed. Have an early day tomorrow with my new job starting at 7am, I need to be out the door by 6:30am, preferable earlier, so I need to be up before 6am. Ugh. I hope this works out.

Really bad ninja jokes

I think my wife eyes would have permanently rolled back into her head had I not stopped telling her these jokes. I just thought I should share them should anyone have the same sense of humour as I. I got the inspiration for these from Ask a Ninja.com such as:
dogs trained in ninjitsu - Caninjas
elephant ninja - ninjelephant
midget ninjas (Question 18) - Minjas

So without further ado here are some of my own:

Ninja that eats vast quantities of food - binja
Ninja that doesn't like these jokes - crinja
Ninja hiding in a door frame - hinja
Happy ninja - grinja
Unhappy ninja - grimja
Theatre Festival Ninja - frinja
Ninja relative - kinja
Ninja who just escaped a fire bomb - sinja
Overly frugal ninja - stinja
Ninja wrestler - pinja
Ninja disguised as a medical instrument - syrinja
Ninja wine conessieur - vinja

And the last one (that I can think of for now):
The woodsman from the Wizard of Oz after he learned ninjitsu - TINJA!

My apologies to Frank L. Baum.

The day approaches

I'm kind of worried about this coming Tuesday, I'm kind of not. If you were in my situation, you may very well say the same. It's the anniversary of my psychotic episode that got me in the hospital for three weeks, and since then I've been taking Epival (valproic acid) an anti-convulsant. Thankfully I'm not on the Zyprexa (olanzipine) which was the anti-psychotic. Now, I'm just content with the fact that I have a job lined up for next week, and will have that job for the rest of the summer. The other two jobs I've had have not had that guarantee. One of them only lasted for a week, but that was a contract, and I didn't mind because it was a $600 contract! Hee hee. The other one is my current job with the 2006 Census, and the longest that is going to last is until mid-June. And that's going to be part-time as well. Hence getting a full-time job that I'll have to commute 35 minutes on my bike, and the trip is going to be uphill both ways, is going to be a good way to pan out the summer.

On another happy note, I have my marks in for the Winter semester, and I'm content to say that I've passed everything.

EE 401 C
EE 460 B-
EE 461 C+
ENGG 400 CR (means credit)

After I found out that I passed EE 460 and 461, I wasn't really worried about anything else. Those were my trouble courses, and ENGG 400... That was a joke. Some people only went to that class once, the day of the final, and I'm confident most of them passed too.

I just noticed that I failed to mention what my summer job is going to be. I'm going to be a porter at Freedom Ford. It's a good $9/hr to start, going to $10/hr after three months. The only problem is that I'll be going back to school in three months! Hmmm... Maybe I could work part-time during the year. What am I talking about? OF COURSE I'm going to work part-time during the year! How else am I going to get money to pay the rent and other bills? I don't qualify for student loans anymore since this will be my sixth year, and loans will only fund five years at most. Caitlin has a new job prospect on the horizon, but she hasn't got confirmation yet. However we are very hopeful, just like her future employer. The waiting is the painful part.

Caitlin wasn't feeling all that good when she went to work today, and it only got worse once she got there. So she came home early, and I took the day off from my job to stay home with her. During a nap this afternoon, I had an interesting dream. I dreamt that my grandfather didn't have Alzheimer's or was on medication that made him better. We shared a long hug and then went into his house. I'm assuming it was his, because I felt like I was visiting. I was carrying my iPAQ around, and Grandma noticed, and I explained what you can do with it. Afterwards, she gave me a $10 bill, and I thought it was for my birthday. I commented to my dad that it's been a long time since the family has visited, because I just now got my birthday present, and it was May right now. At some point before I got the $10, I noticed a lapel pin that had a poppy on it, and below it had something that indicated that it was a war veterans society pin. I'm not sure if it was a Legion, or some other organization, I just know that it was my Grandpa's. I've never seen it in real life. Then "Waka Laka" started playing on a stereo, and it was a little loud. As I went to adjust the volume, my sister Liz told me it was her CD in the player, and asked if I remember dancing this song with her. I then try to adjust the volume, but it's either too muffled or still too loud. At this point I notice that there are some children's screams coming from the basement. More like happy shrieks actually, but someone yells in that general vicinity in an effort to shut them up. I don't know who yelled, and I don't know who told that person that shouting at screaming kids doesn't solve much, but I think they were both women, and I think the second one was Tiana. I then went downstairs to see what all the commotion was about, and three or four little girls passed me to go upstairs. I didn't recognize any of them, but I think one of them was Megan Tolley, my niece. There were still three, possibly four, boys still downstairs, none of them older than twelve and the youngest seemed to be about four. The oldest was fiddling with a TV remote changing channels. Nothing but static was coming up, so I pushed the power button and told the boy, "It's not worth watching anyway." Or something like that. He then picked up a handheld device that looked like the original GameBoy, and the TV displayed the opening screen of a game. Turns out I didn't turn off the TV, just switched the mode. After the oldest boy started playing the game on the TV, I turned my attention to another one of the boys, and started playing catch with three rubber bouncy balls. I was tossing them with my feet, and one ball almost hit the youngest boy, who was watching my footwork. Thankfully it missed him. The boy who was playing with me started tossing them with his feet too, and I retrieved them, then tossed them back. The boy stored them behind his back in the bottom edge of a sweatshirt he was wearing. The edge was curled up, making a sort of groove just big enough for the balls. At that point I woke up.

What does this dream mean? Does it mean anything? My wife has told me that I have some empathic abilities, and this might be a reflection of some future events. Or what I hope to happen in the future. I do know that I play DDR, heck I have some songs on my computer, but I never remember playing with Liz. I can barely get my wife to play.